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Contents | Preface
"Love is safe when you know how to use it."
—Barbara De Angelis
Intimacy can be a scary prospect. If we were really honest with ourselves, most of us who have been through a few relationships would probably admit that it is what we most want in life, yet most fear. We know that relationships have the potential to bring us happiness, but we also know that they can result in heartache and even bitter lawsuits that strip us of everything we own. It’s an emotional gamble, enough to give pause to even the sturdiest of hearts. But scarier still is the fact that we seem to be unable to control or predict the outcome.
But is that really so? What if, in fact, we were very much in control of what happens to us, but simply were unaware of how or when we do that? This question took me on a wondrous journey of discovery and adventure, whose ultimate destination did not exist on any map. It was a place buried deep within, and covered over with layers of conditioning and false beliefs that had prevented me from seeing and applying a very powerful truth. It was a place of understanding that yielded startling insights into how the universe actually works—and how we individually work within it.
To reach that understanding, however, I took the long way around, trekking across continents in an attempt to somehow escape my own unhappiness, only to come face to face with myself at each new destination. Everywhere I went, there I was, no wiser or more fulfilled than before.
On my journeys, I observed different cultures and lifestyles and tried to figure out why all my relationships had gone so horribly wrong. In some of the poorest rural communities of Latin America, I crossed paths with shamans, healers and spiritual teachers—simple, ordinary people who were closely connected to the earth and offered timely wisdom for lost travellers like myself. Intent on surviving from day to day, without the distractions of Western-style consumerism, these people focused on supporting and loving each other. Their relationships with family and friends formed the fabric of their existence and, sometimes, made the difference between life and death. Despite their extreme poverty, they never complained. The dignity of the human spirit was evident in their silent humility. I knew that such acceptance had to come from somewhere deep inside and I yearned for the same kind of inner peace.
Tired of chasing myself around the globe, I decided it was time for a new approach—something that would take me beyond my conscious self and somehow make sense of my life. I began studying mind-body-integration techniques and applied kinesiology—a diagnostic tool that can be used to tap into the subconscious mind to find out what is going on inside, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This was a very different kind of journey—one of self-discovery, healing and personal empowerment (which ultimately brought me face to face with my true self and my ideal mate). I began to see certain patterns emerging, which seemed to be universally applicable, and I finally understood why my own life had been such a mess.
Inside each of us is heaven and hell, differentiated only by our beliefs. It is these that separate us from each other—and from ourselves. Many of them are subconscious negative beliefs that prevent us from seeing what is right in front of our eyes or from understanding our own emotions. We do not see the pain that often lies behind anger, the yearning for love behind detachment, or the creative spontaneity buried beneath our daily routine at work. We need an ‘emotional dictionary’ to translate the unfathomable foreign ‘languages’ that we speak to each other in the form of mind games, body language and all the other survival strategies that we have learned along the way in order to hide a part of ourselves that we believe is unacceptable. And we need the willingness to believe that there is one common language of the heart that can bring us together in true intimacy.
Through this unifying language of the heart, we can come to understand the depth and power of each individual, and what it is that blocks its honest expression.
Fit for Love is designed to help you figure out who you really are inside and how to master the language of love so that you can relate to yourself and others with honesty, authenticity and passion. It is a guide to using relationships as a pathway to personal empowerment and spiritual integration.
In considering the principles described in this book, you may feel resistance to believing in them. You may dismiss them straight away, before you even put them to the test for yourself. Or you may be so convinced that your life is beyond your control that you see no point in trying to change anything. Unless your desire for a better life is stronger than your limiting beliefs, your fears will win and you may never know what you could have achieved. But if you are willing to wholeheartedly apply the principles described in this book, you will discover a powerful side to yourself that you may never have experienced. Love and fulfillment will start to permeate your life and you will begin to see magic happen. You will also become aware of your tremendous ability to positively influence your world, to express your unique creativity, and to experience your ultimate self.
There is no greater journey. |
